By Toby Tunwase
Psychologists have pointed out that several men are struggling severely from emotional and psychological wounds. These wounds come from challenges that supposedly define his “masculinity” when, in fact, these challenges have destroyed his “humanity.”
A major wound stems from the fact that men have been taught to link their sense of self-worth to their work and ability to provide. Thus, a man who is out of a job or who suffers a job loss for whatever reason may immediately fall into depression because his “manhood has been destroyed.”
This troubling state men find themselves in was expertly summed up by Herb Goldberg, the author of “Being Male”: “Male privilege and power have come at a high price for men. He is disconnected from his emotions and from his body. By playing the man’s game, he is destroying himself on every level: mentally, emotionally, and physically.“
To help men deal with this social conditioning, Jed Diamond has written a book called 12 rules for good men. The book contains 12 rules that can help men heal from the wounds of “masculinity” and help them find themselves.
These rules include:
- Join a group of men
- Get rid of the “man box”. That is, the set of harmful beliefs about what it means to be a man.
- Dealing with fear and hatred towards women
- Addressing and healing the absence of a father
- Discovering the goals of life and saving humanity
- Undergo significant rites of passage from youth to adulthood and then to old age
